Mortgage Crisis Fuels Relationships Breakdowns

Whether for love or money, the pressures of the current financial climate have taken their toll on relationships across the country.

Relationships are complicated enough without financial trouble. When a mortgage payment becomes too much to handle, it can be the last nail in the coffin of an already troubled marriage, partnership, or serious fling. But it doesn't have to come to that.

If you've got trouble

It's all over the daily newspapers that the recent mortgage crisis has put new strains on many people's personal finances. Local papers have been reporting that the mortgage crisis has created a relationships crisis. The sinking values of home and investment properties often leads to a sinking feeling, as it becomes harder to tap into a home's equity to get over the next financial hurdle. Add to that the problems when the adjustable-rate mortgage resets-it wreaks havoc on monthly budgets through higher mortgage payments.

No wonder, then, that relationships that once rested on the solid financial bedrock of seemingly endless real estate equity, fall apart when that equity turns to dust and dreams. The latest reliable divorce statistics say that 10 percent of the American population is divorced, with a record-low divorce rate of 3.6 out of every 1,000 people. That report came in 2005, at the height of the real estate boom; expect the statistics to look a lot less cheerful in the next U.S. Census, due in 2010.

Come together

You don't have to become part of that glum trend, though. It may be human nature to point fingers when trouble hits your happy home, but facing the issues together can get a couple through even more severe financial difficulties.

A strict household budget is always a good start, but it may not be enough. Maybe you need to sell your home and move into smaller, cheaper digs until this storm blows over. Your house may be worth less today than when you moved in, but if you 're considering ending a serious relationship and moving out anyway, taking that loss isn't such a drastic step.

The last resort, if you're upside down on your home equity to mortgage balance ratio, would be bankruptcy. It's bad for your credit score-but so is divorce.

Can't buy me love

If your relationship is rocky, try to work out your problems first, before making irreversible decisions. Start with money matters. Draw up a financial plan, tighten your belt, and prepare to live less lavishly for a while. Wouldn't it be a shame to abandon everything the two of you have built together without even trying to make it work?

Some things are worth fighting over, but others are worth fighting for. Make sure that you know the difference.