Divorce can be ugly, expensive, and time consuming. Then again, it doesn't have to be any of these things.

"Let's just be friends."

Those words may hurt when they end a dating fling that seemed destined for a deeper connection. But when they put a full stop to a marriage, a friendly break-up can save you both lots of cash.

Money, money, money

It may seem cynical to dwell on financial advantages to any particular method of ending your marriage. But the fact of the matter is that a traditional divorce can be very expensive, with legal fees often running into the tens of thousands of dollars, and perhaps as high as $100,000 in a complicated case with assets to allocate. Taking a friendlier route than the usual exchange of lawyer volleys and information requests can bring those costs down significantly.

A collaborative divorce is exactly what it sounds like-two people working together to settle their differences at the end of their relationship. You can have lawyers involved in the process to give advice to both sides and ensure that every "t" is crossed and every "i" is dotted; or, you can let them run the show, since they probably have seen situations like yours before, and know where to start unraveling your intertwined interests. In most states, you could even go it alone and draw up the agreements yourselves. The only legal help required in that case would be the notarization of the final documents.

Choosing appropriate help

A divorce may be very complicated, and emotions are certain to run high on both sides. If there are kids in the picture, the need for impartial outsiders to assist grows exponentially.

Some couples choose counseling, and receive their first marriage therapy at the start of their divorce proceedings. The advice from these therapists is not meant to save the marriage (though a tiny glimmer of hope should always be allowed), but rather to help strike a balance between the entitlements and needs of both spouses.

Still, the helpers who you'll get the most use out of are the lawyers. Through a series of meetings between you, your spouse, and each partner's divorce attorney, you'll get to hammer out the financial and legal details of your separation. Other specialists may be called in from time to time, such as a financial analyst who can give a fair, professional estimate of how your assets should be divided. Parenting coaches can help with custody arrangements.

The goal in a friendly divorce is to settle every thorny issue before going for each other's jugulars in court. In a collaborative settlement, your lawyers have to sign an agreement that hands the case to other law firms if things ever go that far-another incentive for your helpers to settle the split amicably.

In the end, your spouse might not show up at the next cocktail party you throw. But at least you'll have saved each other some heartache and cash by parting as friends.